Reflecting on the last several weeks, there are many thoughts in my mind.

I’ve been evaluating my actions, reactions, and inactions prayerfully as I’ve considered again and again that this is a telling moment in the history of the world, my own life, marriage and family. I stopped for this reflection as I again caught myself looking at the actions of others and critiquing them or just generally eye-rolling.

I set to write this post initially to give my opinion and seek to add balance to some skewed conversations and positions I’ve been observing in the last couple of days especially. 

I was then reading this morning in 2 Corinthians 5 and 6, of being a new creation, an ambassador of Jesus, someone to whom he has entrusted the ministry of reconciliation and what that looks like. Conviction and confession set in and this is my repentance, to acknowledge one of my greatest actions in these last weeks is to judge the actions of others, and not at all fairly, lovingly, or peaceably. I’ve been prideful, judgemental and frustrated. Although most of these things happened in my heart, they have spilled over into venting moments where my patient wife has listened patiently while I’ve ranted in pride and anger. Forgiveness for these things has come at great cost to Jesus and my heart is far from where it should be when I consider the forgiveness my Saviour has won for me by his death is removed from my mind in how I think about them. 

That is not to say there are not things to critique in this time. There are many actions taken and words spoken by others that I believe are harmful, divisive and uncaring at this time. I’ve sought to protect my family from those prone to taking such actions and demanding the same of others in unhealthy ways. 

The ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-19) at this time is challenging one, as bringing people together is hard, and judging from a distance and taking potshots is so easy from a distance, even if they only ever occur in my mind. The great reconciliation people need is to be reconciled to God, and if I am too busy judging other Christians on what they are doing or not doing, reconciling people to God is far from being my focus. We can spend a lot of time talking about video quality and editing, sound engineering, restrictions of gatherings, security of online formats, and all the while forget our ministry of reconciliation. I have. 

There is also the issue of being ambassadors of Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:20). God is making his appeal to the world though us (v20b), but what does the world see when it clicks on the comments in our posts? Not much appealing to see I’d dare to say. I may not leave comments anymore, but my prideful heart judges my inaction better than others actions. There is nothing attractive or ambassadorial about Christians bagging other Christians. Some things are best left unsaid, unposted, uncommented on, and in my heart, some things are best unfollowed, unseen, and ignored so I can best represent Jesus and leave the rubbish behind. 

If today is the day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2), if there is really no time like now for people to hear and respond to the Gospel, why am I so obsessed with making sure all other Christians think exactly the same way I do? People are dying and facing an eternity with Jesus and I’m more concerned about whether or not my opinion is heard about an app, or a news story, or a government policy and arguing (even if only in my mind) against anyone who disagrees with me. As a Christian, my ministry according to 2 Corinthians 5:16-17, is to leave behind worldly perspectives and live out my new identity. There is a place for church leaders to speak to these things, and I’m grateful many balanced and wise one have. We probably don’t need to flood the feed with everyone’s perspectives, and adding my own to it for the only reason of being seen to do something not only lacks right motivation but can distract others from a message we need to make even clearer, and one all true followers of Jesus can agree on – the immediate need of anyone who does not know Jesus to hear his Gospel and respond. 

We give plenty of opportunity to offend others (2 Corinthians 6:3ff) when we don’t endure hard times with commendation and with patience and kindness with sincere love. Speaking openly with others may cause offence, but the only offence we are meant to give (even to other Christians), is that of the Cross. We also close our hearts to those who are genuinely speaking truth with love (2 Corinthians 6:12-13). When I think that another Christian (especially one in leadership) has nothing of value to add to my life and walk with Jesus, we are being unloving, immature and we will not grow in our faith. We need other Christians, and we need those who are leading with Gospel conviction to speak into our lives. When we spend time purposefully trying to create offence or to get back at others for something they have said, we will corrupt our representation of Jesus, and might even start partnering with and agreeing more with those outside of Jesus than with those inside (2 Corinthians 6:14ff), all because we want to prove our point. 

My challenge to my own heart is to be more like Jesus when this moment of history is done than I was before. The only way this can be accomplished is when I see myself as I am – a new creation, not bound to earthy perspectives and opinions. Not purposefully taking and giving offence and withholding my heart from those around me. 

Jesus was willing to put aside heaven for me. By his Sprit, I shall endeavour to put aside my opinions and offences in regard to others, not only because there is nothing at all attractive or appealing about always having an opinion, but also because his love compels me to do so (2 Corinthians 5:14-15). I no longer live for myself, or for the praise and agreement of people around me, but for the one who died for me and rose from the dead. 

When this time is over, which it soon will be, what will your reflection be of this time in relation to your position as a new creation and ambassador of Jesus? 

I am seeking the Spirit to enable change in my heart to live not for myself, but for Jesus and his power.